Communicate Effectively

Table of Contents

Section I–Common Health Problems

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Effective communication
can help you express who you are and help you get along with other people.
This is especially helpful in dealing with roommates and the diverse group
of people who attend college. To communicate your needs effectively, be
assertive, not passive and not aggressive.

Assertiveness. This is a
true expression of your wants and needs. It means
standing up for your rights and needs in a
manner that increases the chance of achieving your
goals. An assertive response allows you to
express your feelings build self respect, and
feel good about yourself. The persons with whom you
are being assertive will feel good about
themselves, too.

Passiveness. This is an
inability to stand up for your rights, thoughts, and
feelings or communicating them in a weak,
ineffective manner. When you are passive, you allow
others persons' needs and beliefs to be more
important than yours. As a result, your needs may not
be met and you can end up feeling angry,
resentful, and hurt.

Aggressiveness. This is a
domineering or condescending expression towards another
person. You express your wants and
needs, but at the humiliation of someone else. This
results in the other person feeling angry and
resentful. It may also cause you to feel guilty later about
comments you made.

Listed below are examples
of assertive, passive, and aggressive responses
to a situation in which your roommate plays his
stereo loudly while you are trying to study and
sleep.

Assertive response: "I
need to have less noise in order to focus on my
studying. I would appreciate it, too, if the stereo was
turned off when I go to bed or if you used
earphones to listen to the music when I go to sleep."

Passive response: Leaving
the room to study elsewhere when you don't
want to or not saying anything and as a result,
not getting your work done and/or not getting
enough sleep.

Aggressive response: "You
are a deaf, inconsiderate animal. How do you expect
me to study and sleep while your stupid
stereo is blasting?" Another aggressive response would
be to get up in a huff, turn the stereo off, or to
throw it out the window!

To help you communicate in
an assertive way:

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	Begin statements with "I" instead of "you." For example, start a statement with "I need," "I want," or "I would like it if..." Don't begin statements with accusations, such as "You idiot," "You selfish brat," etc.
	Make sure that your facial expressions and gestures convey the message you are saying. Don't laugh when you are serious. Use your hands to highlight feelings, but don't make a fist, which displays aggression.
	Use short sentences. Be specific and clear. Don't shout or speak too softly. Don't whine.
	Be relaxed, natural, and concerned. Avoid slouching, putting your hands in pockets, and not facing the person you are talking to.
	Use good eye contact to convey self-confidence and interest. Don't stare at the other person; this comes across as a challenge.
	Ask for feedback from the other person to make sure he or she understood your need or opinion. At this point, be an active listener and allow the other person to express his or her need and opinion. Try to come to a conclusion of what can be done to meet both of your needs. Compromise, if necessary.

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December 08, 2005