Conflict Management

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Management Styles:

Competing

Characteristics:

• High assertiveness
• Low cooperativeness
• Great concern for one's own goals; little concern for the others' goals
• Trying to persuade someone that your idea is better

Best Used When:

• You will be held accountable for the outcome and are in conflict with someone with less experience or expertise in the area
• You listen to and understand the viewpoints of the other person and then show him the flaws in his ideas and how you have found a better way to proceed
• There is an emergency or crisis
• A decision is unpopular
• You are certain that you are correct about a crucial matter
• You are defending against opportunists who might exploit a less combative style

Accommodating

Characteristics:

• Low assertiveness
• High cooperativeness
• Focus on the goals of others; little focus on personal goals

Best Used When:

• The issue at hand is not really important to you
• The group has little stake in the outcome
• You are aware that the other side's position has more merit or justice than your own
• You wish to make amends or reparations
• The controversy matters more to the other party than you
• You want to build up a "debt" to collect later
• The other side holds all the winning cards
• You value peace more than the potential gains in the controversy

Collaborating

Characteristics:

• High assertiveness
• High cooperativeness
• Equal focus on others' goals and the individual's goals

Best Used When:

• You have expertise in one area of the issue and the other person has expertise in another area of the issue
• The desires of both parties are too important for a simple trade-off
• Overcoming previous hostilities in a relationship

Avoiding

Characteristics:

• Low assertiveness
• Low cooperativeness
• Focus on little or no involvement with the conflict

Best Used When:

• "Agreeing to disagree" would not impede the group's progress
• The controversy is trivial
• Victory is impossible
• It is advantageous to let strong emotions subside before addressing the issue
• Further research is more useful than a quick resolution
• Someone else can solve the problem better
• The concern is far from the central issue(s)

Compromising

Characteristics:

• Somewhat assertive
• Somewhat cooperative
• Focus on finding a middle ground that pleases both parties

Best Used When:

• The group needs to move on due to time constraints
• Opponents of equal strength are locked in zero-sum bargaining
• Collaboration or competition has already failed

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Negotiation Skills:

• The ability to diagnose the nature of the conflict
• Effectiveness in initiating confrontation
• The ability to listen and willingness to hear another's point of view
• The ability to make use of problem solving processes in bringing about a consensus decision

Problem Solving:

• Clarify the problem
• Generate and evaluate possible solutions
• Decide together which is the best solution
• Plan the implementation of the solution
• Plan for an evaluation

Things to Keep in Mind While Working on an Issue:

• Look for a solution that pleases both parties
• Do your best to put yourself in the other person's shoes
• Be willing to "own" part of the problem
• Talking about your feelings is more effective than acting them out
• Establish a common goal and stay focused on it
• Be persistent in coming to a satisfactory solution if the issue is really important to you
• At the end of the discussion, summarize what has been decided and who will take any next steps

BIBLIOGRAPHY:
Thomas, K.W., & Kilmann, R.H. (1974). Thomas-Kilmann conflict mode instrument. Tuxedo, NY: Xicom.