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Long distance love: there's no app for that

May 2, 2013

By Christina Sanders

There are a lot of difficult things that one can do in life that might work, such as crafting schedule of 19 credit hours with honors physics and calculus classes and earning a 4.0. One can apply for law school at Yale with a 2.1 GPA and possibly get in.

One can write a blockbuster movie and become a multimillionaire.

All of these things are possible, although it is extremely difficult, but one thing that won’t ever work is a long distance relationship in college.

There is nothing wrong with long distance relationships in college, except everything. Whether it’s trying to keep a high school flame alive in separate places or trying to keep hope alive after someone graduates or transfers, long distance relationships usually end in heartbreak for one of the parties involved.

Maybe, in a previous time, long distance relationships in college worked. But in today’s ADD technology generation, no one has time for that.

One of the worst things to happen to society is technology. In regards to long distance relationships, one would think that the invention of FaceTime, Skype and other software programs that allow one to talk to their significant other and also see them would be just the thing that keeps the romance alive. Wrong. If you Skype one person, you can Skype another person.

There are a lot of people in the world who value relationships, but in college, people consider flames to be as common as the daily paper. If you didn’t get one today, you can get one tomorrow, and if you don’t like what one is saying, then you can throw it away and buy another. It’s just that simple.

Technology brought a world that was far away and unknown to the palm of your hands. There are so many things vying for your attention that one doesn’t see the reason to stay with someone that they’re with, even if they feel as if they love that person.

There are seven billion people in this world. What does one person have that another person doesn’t?

Sometimes the worst thing that a person can do is let someone “think about it” or “sleep on it.” The person who gets to think usually ends up not making a move.

Long distance relationships give people the chance to think about it by the beach sipping cocktails with a hot person or while watching a football player dressed in form-fitting underarmor. But that’s neither here nor there.

Another reason that long distance relationships in college don't work is because everyone is broke. Dead broke. Romantic dinners consist of spending more Dining Dollars than you should in Elements.

College is no joke.

It is the biggest motivation that you will ever receive. Being the level of poor that you are in college should inspire you to work hard in order to never have to crack open a pack of Ramen noodles ever again.

If you can’t afford milk for the cereal in your dorm, how can you afford plane tickets? What is the point of being in a relationship if you can’t ever see them in person?
There’s a word for relationships of that nature — it’s called imaginary ones or random chat room ones.

There’s only so much that sexy text messages can do.

There is no love in the world that is powerful enough to combat the power of tequila and a hot person.

It is the sad truth.

If it’s meant to be, it will comeback. If it doesn’t then, well, it was fun.